Sketch assigned by Aubrey.

from a rod mckuen poem

I found these while working on a massive clean up of my apartment. They’re really old. I used to make them whenever I was bored in highschool, I still have a little box full of scraps from magazines and books of things that I thought might fit into a point. These are all of the ones that I found in tact.

According to the NY Times kids these days just don’t get Holden Caulfield.

“Today’s pop culture heroes, it seems, are the nerds who conquer the world — like Harry — not the beautiful losers who reject it.”

…

Ms. Feinberg recalled one 15-year-old boy from Long Island who told her: “Oh, we all hated Holden in my class. We just wanted to tell him, ‘Shut up and take your Prozac.’ ”

I guess my kind is getting to be rather passé.

oh… I gave in and got a http://twitter.com/pitseleh_

A great variety of rumors, of course, run high and wide about the extraordinarily, the sensationally creative artist – and I’m alluding exclusively, here, to painters and poets and full Dichter. One of these rumors – and by far, to me, the most exhilarating of the lot – is that he has never, even in the pre-psychoanalytical dark ages, deeply venerated his professional critics, and has, in fact, usually lumped them, in his generally unsound views of society, with the echt publishers and art dealers and the other, perhaps enviably prosperous camp followers of the arts, who, lie’s just scarcely said to concede, would prefer different, possibly cleaner work if they could get it. But what, at least in modern times, I think one most recurrently hears about the curiously-productive-though-ailing poet or painter is that he is invariably a kind of super-size but unmistakably ‘classical’ neurotic, an aberrant who only occasionally, and never deeply, wishes to surrender his aberration; or, in English, a Sick Man who not at all seldom, though lie’s reported to childishly deny it, gives out terrible cries of pain, as if he would wholeheartedly let go both his art and his soul to experience what passes in other people for wellness, and yet (the rumor continues) when his unsalutary-looking little room is broken into and someone – not infrequently, at that, someone who actually loves him – passionately asks him where the pain is, he either declines or seems unable to discuss it at any constructive clinical length, and in the morning, when even great poets and painters presumably feel a bit more chipper than usual, he looks more perversely determined than ever to see his sickness run its course, as though by the light of another, presumably working day he had remembered that all men, the healthy ones included, eventually die, and usually with a certain amount of bad grace, but that he, lucky man, is at least being done in by the most stimulating companion, disease or no, he has ever known. On the whole, treacherous as it may sound, coming from me, with just such a dead artist in the immediate family as I’ve been alluding to throughout this nearpolemic, I don’t see how one can rationally deduce that this last general rumor (and mouthful) isn’t based on a fairish amount of substantial fact.

While my distinguished relative lived, I watched him – almost literally, I sometimes think – like a hawk. By every logical definition, he was an unhealthy specimen, he did on his worst nights and late afternoons give out not only cries of pain but cries for help, and when nominal help arrived, he did decline to say in perfectly intelligible language where it hurt. Even so, I do openly cavil with the declared experts in these matters – the scholars, the biographers, and especially the current ruling intellectual aristocracy educated in one or another of the big public psychoanalytical schools – and I cavil with them most acrimoniously over this: they don’t listen properly to cries of pain when they come. They can’t, of course. They’re a peerage of tin cars. With such faulty equipment, with those ears, how can anyone possibly trace the pain, by sound and quality alone, back to its source?

With such wretched hearing equipment, the best, I think, that can be detected, and perhaps verified, is a few stray, thin overtones – hardly even counterpoint-coming from a troubled childhood or a disordered libido. But where does by far the bulk, the whole ambulance load, of pain really come from? Where must it come from?

Isn’t the true poet or painter a seer? Isn’t he, actually, the only seer we have on earth? Most apparently not the scientist, most emphatically not the psychiatrist. (Surely the one and only great poet the psychoanalysts have had was Freud himself; he had a little ear trouble of his own, no doubt, but who in his right mind could deny that an epic poet was at work?) Forgive me; I’m nearly finished with this. In a seer, what part of the human anatomy would necessarily be required to take the most abuse? The eyes, certainly. Please, dear general reader, as a last indulgence (if you’re still here), re-read those two short passages from Kafka and Kierkegaard I started out with. Isn’t it clear? Don’t those cries come straight from the eyes? However contradictory the coroner’s report – whether he pronounces Consumption or Loneliness or Suicide to be the cause of death – isn’t it plain how the true artist-seer actually dies? I say (and everything that follows in these pages all too possibly stands or falls on my being at least nearly right) – I say that the true artist-seer, the heavenly fool who can and does produce beauty, is mainly dazzled to death by his own scruples, the blinding shapes and colors of his own sacred human conscience.

My credo is stated. I sit back. I sigh – happily, I’m afraid. I light a Murad, and go on, I hope to God, to other things.

JD Salinger
Seymour, An Introduction.

The text in this one is taken from two Margaret Atwood poems. The upper part is from Dream 2: Brian the Still-Hunter, the bottom from Highest Altitude.

Just a random one.

Update: 6/4/2009

Actually, not so random. I’m going to be posting a few of these ones. I like them. They have a different quality from the type I normally post. Subtle and erie.

This is a detail from the page I’m working on at the moment. I’ll have the full image finished soon, but I figured I should post something in the mean time.

ME: I don’t know if I can do this anymore. I can’t handle anymore disappointments. I am so close to saying that this is the straw to break the camels back.

YOU: The camels dead, he died a long time ago… I think at this point you’re going to have to start walking

ME: I don’t even fucking know where I’m going anymore

YOU: Well, sometimes thats best, maybe a little time with out worrying about where you’re going should be the next step.

——-

Random sketchbook stuff. I’ve been studying brain anatomy instead of drawing because I’m a psych student now.

This is a sketchbook page for a finished comic page I did a while back.
Sorry for the lack of posting, between finals, holidays, and work I haven’t had time for drawing. I’ll get back into the updating groove soon.